Local Couple Has Loud, Uncomfortable Public Argumentby Eric Mills
Nancy Alverez was unwrapping her sandwich during her lunch break at Pondside Park when she was rudely interrupted. "I come to this park every day at twelve thirty to eat my lunch and sit on the bench here--it's my therapy for the day. So I get to my bench and begin eating my lunch when this husband and wife a few benches over begins screaming at each other." She paused to pick a piece of lettuce from her teeth before adding, "It ruined my lunch."
Eye-witnesses say that the couple spoke in loud, harsh tones for approximately thirty minutes. During this time, the attractive thirtysomething male and his equally attractive spouse argued over a range of grievances, from credit card bills and sleeping habits, to remote control use and, to phrase it politely, bedroom practices, the likes of which would be unfit for a family publication.
Says one hirsute and homely witness, "The man just kept yelling about the woman spending $90 at the salon every time she goes and she kept saying how she had needs that he wasn't satisfying." Adds another, more slender, witness, "It was just plain awkward."
At some point during the argument the woman began crying and, as the report goes, when her husband tried to console her with an embrace, she pushed him away, setting off another round of fierce arguing.
And while police were not notified of the incident, some are crying foul. Says one anonymous source close to the couple, "Last time me and [name removed] had lunch, [she] had a bruise on her arm. I said, 'Is [name removed] hitting you?' She shook her head and insisted that she fell while playing tennis with [name removed]. Yeah, right. Next she'll be telling me she's sleeping with [Hollywood celebrity name removed]."
After each party had a chance to vent, they began their closing arguments. During this time there was much gesturing and an increase in choice words. And while each husband and wife made several strong arguments throughout their tirades, the outcome was inconclusive, with neither side willing to back down. The affair's end was rather anticlimactic and resulted in plenty of listless body language and dull eyes that searched the heavens for an answer and a glimpse of a simpler time.
Several silent moments passed where nary a word was spoken between the two, and eye-witnesses pretended like they were not paying attention. Then without warning, the two left just as quietly as they came. Says Ms. Alvarez, "It was all over so quick--if you're going to start an argument in public, at least finish it in a definitive manner. Next thing I know my watch says it's one thirty and lunch hour's over. Thanks for nothing."
