Exclusive Celebrity Follow-Up Interview!Still-Grieving Browns: The Hurt Won't Go Away!
Adds Richard Brown: Neither Will Our Low, Low Prices!
Katherine Mills' ground-breaking interview last week with newly-minted celebs Richard and Jane Brown was really terrific. Just dynamite. We sent her back into the Brown's darkened home for round two. Wassup, Browns? -The Editor
Our Town: Richard, Jane, thank you so much for letting me back into your home.
Richard Brown: You're welcome Katherine.
OT: Thanks.
RB: You're welcome.
OT: Okay.
Jane Brown: The reason we agreed to invite you back is to announce a charity we are starting in town that will act as a resource--
OT: So, what's your favorite winter get-away?
JB: --will act as a resource for grieving families--
RB: Well we just love Marinique. We bought a time share at a Condotel.
OT: A condotel?
RB: It's a condo unit that is owned by someone else, but you rent it out during certain weeks of the year. Same company that designed Mayor Allenbach's unit in town. Vaulted ceilings. The works. Infinity pool. Beautiful.
JB: Richard...
RB: Jane thinks I'm burying myself in work and credit card purchases to, I dunno, avoid grieving. But I say she's nutso!
OT: Uh-huh. So, what's been your most luxurious purchase to date?
RB: Well I work hard and I like to play hard. I just bought a jet ski for our beach house. I have the need for speed!
OT: Top Gun.
RB: Exactly right.
JB: Richard...please.
OT: So, what's your number one home make-over fantasy?
JB: If this is why you came here, I don't know if we should continue.
RB: Personally, I'd love to get that new 103-inch plasma screen from Panasonic. Oh, and definitely a game room--you know, ivory pool table with black felt, surround sound stereo where I could play my old records as loud as I want. And a stripper pole like my man Big Boi has!
JB: Richard, that's enough. Ms. Mills, if you don't mind...
OT: Who's your number one celeb crush?
RB: Cybil Shepherd. She's sexy.
JB: What?
RB: Get off my back, woman.
OT: Classic Brown banter. Great stuff, guys.
JB: This is not banter! Our family is falling apart...I...I just want my little girl back!
OT: Are you going to cry?
JB: I don't know what I'm doing anymore...
OT: Because if you're going to cry just wait and I'll call our photographer.
JB: Please...
OT: Are you upset?
JB: Just get out!
OT: Richard, tell her to chill out.
RB: Honey, I'm thirsty. I'd like a glass of water. With lemon. Dick Brown drinks lemon water. Write that down.
OT: Perrier or still water?
RB: Honey do we have--what was it called?
OT: Perrier.
RB: Do we have Perrier?
JB: No.
RB: What is that anyway?
OT: Sparkling water.
RB: Like seltzer?
OT: Kind of. Smaller bubbles. Like champagne.
RB: Oh now you're speaking my language. Honey, tell her how much I like champagne.
JB: He gets black out drunk a lot.
OT: Bling bling!
RB: Bling bling! Honey she said that! My grief sale is still on you know... I put in an ad last week.
OT: Yeah I saw it. Pretty good. Who does your design?
RB: I do it all on MS Word. Pretty sweet huh?
JB: Sammy? Sammy, where are you sweetie? It's mommy!
OT: What is she doing?
RB: Oh, she does this almost every day. It's like she still thinks Sammy...still...
OT: Go on.
RB: Still thinks Sammy is...alive...
JB: [sobbing] Sammy's dead!
RB: [sobbing] My little girl!
OT: Damn.
