Local News in Brief***
Local Woman Smells Something Great
It was reported yesterday that while out on a stroll, Mrs. Allison Mayfair "smelled something great" in the air. The unidentified smell is reported to have been "a bakery-like" smell. Witnesses on the scene suggested that perhaps the smell was the result of a commercial bakery preparing flake pastry or bread. No one was seriously injured.
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Nap Time Delayed Thirty Minutes
Local sitter Ashley Williams allowed local tot Johnny Maier an additional 30 minutes of play time in the backyard due to the "magnificent" weather. Johnny's naptime is typically scheduled for 3PM. No word on whether or not Johnny's mother granted the delay or how the 3:30 nap time will affect Johnny's performance today.
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New Cheddar to Replace Other Cheddar
The Chesterfield Ridge deli will be stocking Boar's Head cheddar due to an unspecified "accident" at the Dairy's Finest factory in nearby Trentsville. Boar's Head cheddar, says the manufacturer, is "really f**king good."
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Shopping Plaza Clock Temporarily Down
The large clock in the shopping plaza will be disabled during a routine battery change and will thusly be inaccurate from noon until noon-thirty.
