News in Brief
*Epidemic to Reach Epic Proportions Before Nightfall
"In what scientists are calling the 'worst thing to happen in Chesterfield ever...'"
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*Meaning of Life Discovered, Christ Returns to Earth
"'Hello...'"
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*Notice: Drinking Water to Be Temporarily Replaced by Arsnic
"Said Chesterfield Water spokesman Jim Douglas, 'It is very important that people heed the notice and...'"
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*Sexiest Woman Alive Caught in Rainstorm Wearing White Blouse in Downtown Chesterfield; Needs a Lift Home
"...at the corner of..."
*Epidemic to Reach Epic Proportions Before Nightfall
"In what scientists are calling the 'worst thing to happen in Chesterfield ever...'"
***
*Meaning of Life Discovered, Christ Returns to Earth
"'Hello...'"
***
*Notice: Drinking Water to Be Temporarily Replaced by Arsnic
"Said Chesterfield Water spokesman Jim Douglas, 'It is very important that people heed the notice and...'"
***
*Sexiest Woman Alive Caught in Rainstorm Wearing White Blouse in Downtown Chesterfield; Needs a Lift Home
"...at the corner of..."
