MLB PLAYOFFS PREDICTIONS
with SportsMan Horace Kvscheznowski
I was assign to make my Play-Off predictions many weeks ago but I have been busy running for mayor of Chesterfield Ridge and I also had to study the game because I did not know what BaseBall was. So I did my research and now I am ready to make my predictions.
AMERICAN LEAGUE DIVISIONAL SERIES
Oakland Athletics vs. Minnesota Twins
Horace's Take: In Ukraine, we have a myth about the Double-Man. It is said that certain villages, if they do not pay their proper respects to the dead, the next baby born during the Gloaming hours will become a Double-Man. This man will be like angel during the day and like devil at night and one will not remember the actions of the other. And during the Gloaming hours, both can be seen together. If this is like baseball team, then this is serious disadvantage if one man does not remember what the other man has done before him.
Quick Pick: A's in three.
Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees
Horace's Take: When I was in prison many years ago, they bring in many animals for us to be bitten by. We have bats and hummingbirds and honeybees and once there was panther, but no tiger. The reason being the Siberian tiger is a gentle creature unless she is provoked by many many rocks or if one steals her cubs, which are valuable sources of single-serving of delicious meat and fur for boots.
Quick Pick: Tigers in four.
NATIONAL LEAGUE DIVISION SERIES
Los Angeles Dodgers vs. New York Mets
Horace's Take: When I was alone in prison for many years because they forget to let my out of my cell and I have to eat my comatose but still-breathing cellmate to survive cold Grozny winters, I make rhymes with myself to entertain me and to keep my sanity in hold. There was one who went "Выберите пакет. Крысы и дети, крысы и дети. Выберите пакет. Выберите жесткий диск" which translates about to "Marry me, marry me, I would bet, that you would get!"
Quick Pick: Mets in three.
St. Louis Cardinals vs. San Diego Padres
Horace's Take: When I was a child, I live next to the fattest man I ever see in my entire life. He would eat all day and eat all night and we would all call him "Mr. Eat!" He did not like that nickname and would cried and cried a great deal over it. He also was killed by Soviets for being an enemy of the state. I say this because the Padres have a very fat ball-thrower, but he is not nearly as fat as Mr. Eat.
Quick Pick: Cardinals in four.
AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Detroit Tigers vs. Oakland Athletics
Horace's Take: Can a tiger eat a whole elephant by himself? I say yes and my friend Yvrigny say no, so we look for a way to settle our dispute. But we could find none and then I was in jail the next year.
Quick Pick: Tigers in four.
NATIONAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
St. Louis Cardinals vs. New York Mets
Horace's Take: There was a bird who would visit outside of my window every day when I was in jail and everyone else was free but for me. He would sing to me in the morning and sing me to sleep at night. He would visit me every day and I name him "Немного большой красный некий Альберт." He loved me so much that when the winter come, he did not fly south and freezed.
Quick Pick: Cardinals in seven.
WORLD SERIES
St. Louis Cardinals vs. Detroit Tigers
Horace's Take: The National League is an embarrassment.
Quick Pick: Tigers in four.
